It's strange, that the way Claire's managed to come up with a ballpark figure for their stay makes Olive love her a little more, but it's so much something she would have done eventually herself, if she hadn't first distracted herself with things like dinosaurs. Maybe that makes it a bit narcissistic, but a lot of love is, Olive sometimes thinks; or, at least, it's often a recognition of an overlap. There are things they have in common and she loves Claire for all of them and for the ways in which they're different, too. Two to three years is a terrifying number, in large part because it's so broad. She's never been one of those who wanted to know when she was going to die because she'd rather fling herself at everything and whatever happens, happens, but she thinks, sometimes, it might be easier to know just how long she has here (but what would she do differently if she did?).

"Yeah," she says, "but it's kinda worth it." Maybe it's just she's yet to lose anyone really important, so it's easier to bear the idea (there was Effy, but she barely knew her). Maybe it's just she feels the need to embrace it because she knows herself well enough to be sure she couldn't hold everyone at arms' length even if she wanted to. She's just not made to shut everyone out — to be secretive, private, at times, and she's good at being alone, but if someone's in her life, she's no good at keeping her distance. "I mean, it's going to suck when everyone goes or if I go home and never see you guys again, it's, it's gonna be the worst. But I'd rather know all of you than spend two to three years only going halfway on all my friendships in case I get hurt. And, and, and with Eduardo, with this — I mean, this is my first boyfriend, my first relationship, and he could... he could disappear at any minute, but you know, so what? High school relationships sometimes don't even last two to three months, and I'd take a month of knowing he loves me over nothing. I think it's gonna hurt no matter what we do, so... we might as well embrace it."