regenerated | do i even dare? i just have to do it.

There's a problem that Claire's come across lately. Which is, namely, that there are only so many times she can bake cupcakes before all of it feels kind of repetitive and no longer serves as a decent distraction from all of her problems. She's had a few of them lately. As comforting as it's been to talk to certain people, like Mary Jane, Claire can't help but think about it all, that nightmare she shared about a month ago, where she scared someone enough that the woman kept on shooting. Bullets searing through her shoulder time and time again, only for skin and muscle to start weaving right back together, good as new. Baking just keeps her in the kitchen, the sort of area where so much has happened in the past. Washing her injured hand under running water. Watching her broken fingers repair themselves after being run through the trash disposal. Blood tripping onto the floor, hands burning after pulling a tray of cupcakes out.

It's just a little too much of a reminder of her previous life and general lack of caring, neither of which apply entirely anymore. So today, instead of using up some of the rarer items in the pantry, Claire sits at the kitchen counter with a coloring book nabbed from the bookshelf (The Little Mermaid, fancy that) and filling it in with completely unfitting colors. That keeps it from being too much like cheating.

When she hears footsteps approaching, she continues coloring, keeping her ears open for any hint of a voice that might help her know who it is. Hopefully a friend.

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"Yep," Claire affirmed with a nod, watching Mr. Muggles start to jump on his hind legs once Jacob had lowered himself enough to reach the dog. No doubt the Pomeranian was expecting some kind of treat, she thought. "He's actually been here longer than I have, this time around. I was here before, but I don't remember any of that or anything, I've just been told several times that I did some pretty crazy things. Which is weird."

Claire took up the bowl of eggs, abandoned by the side, and began to whisk them in Jacob's stead. "He's terribly spoiled and an attention monger, by the way. In case you couldn't already tell."

"Eh, you're supposed to spoil pets," Jacob said, casting that off as he scratched the dog's ears. "And weird, that you've been here before. Are there people around who remember that?"

"My mom says that sometimes," Claire agreed with a laugh, shaking her head as she pursed her lips in amusement at Mr. Muggles, who was wearing a fairly content look on his doggy face while being scratched by Jacob. "She always said that spoiling me or my little brother always resulted in us asking for crazier and crazier things, like the time Lyle actually asked if he could have a dirt bike, or when I got way too involved in the cheerleading culture. But Mr. Muggles, she said, all he'd ever ask for was more doggie treats, and that she could do."

Combing her hair back with her fingers, Claire paused for a second before turning to sift through the flour the both of them were to use. "And yeah, there are people around who remember my previous self on the island. Actually, my cousin's adoptive dad is one of them, and he told me some things I did that I'm... not sure I'd do anymore."

"Really? Sorry if it's too personal," Jacob warned, content to rub the dog's ears and just hang out if she didn't want to talk about it. "But what kinds of things? Did you go on a mass murdering spree or something? Because you're too cute for that, gotta say. Usually it's not the blonde cheerleaders that do that kind of thing."

Of course, you could always be surprised. Rosalie could have been like Claire, she was definitely blonde and pretty enough, but she was a bloodsucker by night. Appearances could always be deceiving.

"It is kind of personal," Claire said, lips pursing as she watched Jacob pet Mr. Muggles, the dog scuttling around for a little longer before finally giving up the fight and rolling onto his back, four paws lifted in the air and waving about. "But you're a friend, and in the end that previous me wasn't really... me, so hopefully you won't judge. Not that it's even that bad."

Sighing, Claire whisked the eggs a bit more, not out of any specific need, but just to give her hands something to do. "I can't go into all of the details, but there was this girl on the island who had gotten used to feeding on blood in her world? I think that was the only way she could eat there or something, maybe she was like a vampire, but here it was a force of habit and the previous me helped it continue, kinda, by giving the girl blood straight from her finger. It's a nice gesture, but maybe this version of me's just got thin skin, because I think it's kinda creepy."

Jacob always tried not to judge, especially considering he used to have a less than normal side, but that was just extremely creepy. More than the sort of weird he was used to, that was for sure.

"So, the other girl didn't even need it to survive anymore, did she? I mean, when Alice was here she didn't feed on blood as far as I know."

The Cullens had always hunted, even if they wouldn't feed on humans, but Alice had seemed human.

Claire breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that Jacob wasn't judging her too much for her initial reaction to it all. If she had the courage, if facing some other form of herself wasn't so difficult, Claire knew that she would have gone through the records and fleshed out the whole situation more. Unfortunately, it was just too weird, and not important enough on a practical level to bother.

"No, the other girl, she didn't need it to survive anymore. I heard that she was a bit... weird, and I guess it'd be difficult for anyone to adjust, but it's still, I don't know." Claire pursed her lips and shrugged heavily with a sigh. "It wigs me out. I feel like having an evil twin would be easier."

do i even dare? i just have to do it.

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