regenerated: (it's an incredible mess)
Up until now, everything's been easy. As strange as it might be for most people to imagine, Claire Bennet's leap off the Compound has been the best thing that's happened to her yet on Tabula Rasa. Maybe it isn't the healthiest— after all, where the leap from the Compound was supposed to help her shed that mask, come face to face with all that fate's laid on her, now it's only granted a wish that she's held tightly to for months. All of a sudden, it's the lies that have become truth. She no longer has to think about the ideas her mind's brushed over in past months, wondering if invincibility comes with everlasting life, if wrinkles will never make it to her face, caused by smiles or frowns. The prospect itself is still one that chills her to the bone, lingering in the shadows of her thought, Claire realizing better than anyone else that there will come a day when she returns to the United States, when being a cheerleader is no longer an option, when her dad will come and take her into his arms, family man that he is. She'll have to search for Peter, for Nathan, for anything remaining of the two of them. But for now, one choice has been switched for another, and it feels pretty good.

She's probably driven the people at the clinic mad. Claire keeps on trying to pull off her bandages, keeps on running gentle hands over her injuries, relishing the way that the pain is different each time. This process is healing. Not reversing, not erasing all trace of what's happened, but instead an imperfect process that leaves her slightly fractured, slightly weak, all of the things that a girl her age is supposed to be. The bruises that she sees all over her skin might be about the most beautiful thing she's seen and felt in a long time, her eyes wide with amazement at the human body, that imperfect state of being and how it adapts. It's almost hard to keep the lie in place, with the way her lips spread into a smile at the slightest provocation, how laughs catch in her throat now because her lung hasn't healed enough to be used at full force.

But she can't hide on her own forever. Can't use fatigue as an excuse when all the doctors can see that her eyes are practically dancing. It's time for visiting hours. This is what she's been dreading.

Because somehow, she doesn't think that most people will believe her if she tells them this is the happiest she's been in almost a year. And honestly, she's not even sure if she should.
regenerated: (I should have known; should have known)
Night had fallen when Claire Bennet took a seat outside the Compound, the elastic of the trampoline stretching under her, her shoes carefully lined up on the grass below— a pair of yellow flip-flops with orange jelly blossoms. Where the air had been humid all day, now it was cooler, helped along by a steady breeze that blew Claire's hair to the side, blonde strands uncharacteristically limp. She hadn't bothered to curl them that day. Had anyone come across her at that point, they would have seen her fumbling with the settings of her camcorder, making sure that the battery was fully charged, finding a setting that would record even in the dark of night. Off and to the side, there was a blank tape, and on its label words written carefully with purple ink:

ISLAND: ATTEMPT #1

With her legs crossed, she slipped the blank tape in, turned the camcorder until she could look directly into the lens. Her thumb pressed the record button. Claire took a deep breath; it wavered, slightly, before she began to speak.

"This is Claire Bennet. I've been on this island for over three-quarters of a year. They call it Tabula Rasa, because everyone comes here and gets a blank slate. I guess I've taken advantage of that. I've... made friends, I've kind of got a family, I walk around here like I'm normal, and for a few months, I thought it was totally working. And then people started finding out, one by one, and no one's thrown me into a room, or tested on me, or all of those things that dad had to protect me from back home, so I thought that it was okay. That I could just be like anyone else on this island."

Her gaze dropped, her hold on the camera faltering, angle tilting.

"But I don't know anymore. Maybe I'm still a freak. Maybe I shouldn't... be afraid of being one. I can feel you rolling your eyes at me right now, Zach. It's just— I feel so empty these days, like I'm just pretending, or going through the motions. I need to remember who I really am. And if that means that I'm going to spend the rest of my days on this island fighting, I'll deal. So."

Claire slid off the side of the trampoline, placing the camcorder carefully until it was pointed at a spot on the roof, and stepped back a few paces until she was in its view again.

"This is Claire Bennet, and this is going to be attempt number one."

Her heart thudded. Pulse raced. Claire immediately turned and ran, feeling the earth under her feet as she tugged open the door, raced up the steps in her bare feet, eyes afraid and darting around, making sure no one was watching. She'd carefully picked out this time, after weeks of just loitering around. When the halls of the Compound were quiet, silent save for the occasional squeaky door or flushing toilet, when anyone found wandering had eyes heavy and lidded with sleep. Deserted, but safer than the deep island forests that shuddered at night with murmurs and the quiet chirp of crickets.

She burst onto the roof with a sharp intake of air, arms held wide, a shiver running down her spine. Carefully, she walked to its edge, until toes hung over the side of the roof and her balance began to falter. A hesitant smile was already teasing at her lips, breath stilled, skirt billowing with a gust of wind. Closing her eyes, with her arms held out she leaned forward, and for one second felt time suspended with her weightlessness, before gravity took hold and sent her hurtling down.

The scream didn't even last half a second before Claire felt herself colliding with the ground, a crack sounding before she rolled onto her back. This was normal. It always hurt at first. Blood pooled in the back of her throat, coppery to taste, bubbling from her lips as Claire coughed, trying to clear her airway for a much needed breath. One second. Two seconds. It shouldn't have taken long to heal.

Instead, the pain remained, stars shooting behind her eyes as Claire wheezed. Her lungs weren't filling. Shaking, Claire swallowed thickly, looking to the side and managing to curl the fingers of her hand into a fist.

Help, she tried to say, but all that escaped was a soft whine.

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regenerated: (Default)
Claire Bennet

July 2020

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