Claire Bennet (
regenerated) wrote2011-04-08 12:34 am
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and then she'd say, 'it's okay, i got lost on the way, but i'm a supergirl and supergirls don't cry'
Up until now, everything's been easy. As strange as it might be for most people to imagine, Claire Bennet's leap off the Compound has been the best thing that's happened to her yet on Tabula Rasa. Maybe it isn't the healthiest— after all, where the leap from the Compound was supposed to help her shed that mask, come face to face with all that fate's laid on her, now it's only granted a wish that she's held tightly to for months. All of a sudden, it's the lies that have become truth. She no longer has to think about the ideas her mind's brushed over in past months, wondering if invincibility comes with everlasting life, if wrinkles will never make it to her face, caused by smiles or frowns. The prospect itself is still one that chills her to the bone, lingering in the shadows of her thought, Claire realizing better than anyone else that there will come a day when she returns to the United States, when being a cheerleader is no longer an option, when her dad will come and take her into his arms, family man that he is. She'll have to search for Peter, for Nathan, for anything remaining of the two of them. But for now, one choice has been switched for another, and it feels pretty good.
She's probably driven the people at the clinic mad. Claire keeps on trying to pull off her bandages, keeps on running gentle hands over her injuries, relishing the way that the pain is different each time. This process is healing. Not reversing, not erasing all trace of what's happened, but instead an imperfect process that leaves her slightly fractured, slightly weak, all of the things that a girl her age is supposed to be. The bruises that she sees all over her skin might be about the most beautiful thing she's seen and felt in a long time, her eyes wide with amazement at the human body, that imperfect state of being and how it adapts. It's almost hard to keep the lie in place, with the way her lips spread into a smile at the slightest provocation, how laughs catch in her throat now because her lung hasn't healed enough to be used at full force.
But she can't hide on her own forever. Can't use fatigue as an excuse when all the doctors can see that her eyes are practically dancing. It's time for visiting hours. This is what she's been dreading.
Because somehow, she doesn't think that most people will believe her if she tells them this is the happiest she's been in almost a year. And honestly, she's not even sure if she should.
She's probably driven the people at the clinic mad. Claire keeps on trying to pull off her bandages, keeps on running gentle hands over her injuries, relishing the way that the pain is different each time. This process is healing. Not reversing, not erasing all trace of what's happened, but instead an imperfect process that leaves her slightly fractured, slightly weak, all of the things that a girl her age is supposed to be. The bruises that she sees all over her skin might be about the most beautiful thing she's seen and felt in a long time, her eyes wide with amazement at the human body, that imperfect state of being and how it adapts. It's almost hard to keep the lie in place, with the way her lips spread into a smile at the slightest provocation, how laughs catch in her throat now because her lung hasn't healed enough to be used at full force.
But she can't hide on her own forever. Can't use fatigue as an excuse when all the doctors can see that her eyes are practically dancing. It's time for visiting hours. This is what she's been dreading.
Because somehow, she doesn't think that most people will believe her if she tells them this is the happiest she's been in almost a year. And honestly, she's not even sure if she should.
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It was nice.
"God, no," she exclaimed, shaking her head and holding Coraline's gaze as well as she could. "No, Coraline, I'm not going to die. It's just a couple of broken ribs, that's all. I've had... so much worse. I just. It was just a slip, Coraline. I'm not going back to the Compound roof again for a long while."
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The bad kind.
"They should put up a big thing around the roof or a net so no one can fall and hurt themselves. It's dangerous." Coraline said before looking at Claire confused. "What were you doing anyway?"
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With a slight look of shame, Claire turned her gaze away then, glancing at the walls, the ceiling. Because on the one hand, she could have lied to Coraline. Probably easily, all things considered. She'd managed to fool so many of her friends on the island, some of them still in the dark— maybe no one really believed that it was just an accidental tumble, but not all of them thought that it was anything serious. But Coraline was a close friend, and had seen Kirby Plaza besides, and... maybe she deserved more. No one needed to know all of the thoughts that swirled through her mind. But some deserved not to have it completely brushed aside.
"I was trying to figure out... who I was," Claire said at last. "What I am."
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Coraline looked at Claire curiously as she said that. Coraline didn't quite understand what she meant. It was an accident or was it? Was that what she meant. Coraline looked confused at Claire. "You mean, you fell on purpose?"
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Human again.
Her gaze skirted down to her sheets. "I didn't mean to hurt myself," she said in earnest. "I thought everything would be okay."
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"But it wasn't. Next time, start smaller or tell someone like me so you don't get hurt." Coraline said. "So, your powers don't work here? I guess, it's good we know that now but don't do something like that again Claire or I'll get very, very cross."
Coraline placed her hand close to Claire's not wanting to hurt her. "Nothing works from home either. Cat doesn't talk, I can't see the dead children anymore and I can't see the truth through the stones. But I don't mind because well, that means the bad things can't work here too. You know?"
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But she looked up with a smile, finding more wisdom and sense in Coraline's words than she'd dared hope for.
"You're right," she nodded. "Even if it means we lose a lot of the good stuff, it... also means that the villains have a few less tools in their arsenal. And that's never a bad thing."