Claire Bennet (
regenerated) wrote2011-04-08 12:34 am
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and then she'd say, 'it's okay, i got lost on the way, but i'm a supergirl and supergirls don't cry'
Up until now, everything's been easy. As strange as it might be for most people to imagine, Claire Bennet's leap off the Compound has been the best thing that's happened to her yet on Tabula Rasa. Maybe it isn't the healthiest— after all, where the leap from the Compound was supposed to help her shed that mask, come face to face with all that fate's laid on her, now it's only granted a wish that she's held tightly to for months. All of a sudden, it's the lies that have become truth. She no longer has to think about the ideas her mind's brushed over in past months, wondering if invincibility comes with everlasting life, if wrinkles will never make it to her face, caused by smiles or frowns. The prospect itself is still one that chills her to the bone, lingering in the shadows of her thought, Claire realizing better than anyone else that there will come a day when she returns to the United States, when being a cheerleader is no longer an option, when her dad will come and take her into his arms, family man that he is. She'll have to search for Peter, for Nathan, for anything remaining of the two of them. But for now, one choice has been switched for another, and it feels pretty good.
She's probably driven the people at the clinic mad. Claire keeps on trying to pull off her bandages, keeps on running gentle hands over her injuries, relishing the way that the pain is different each time. This process is healing. Not reversing, not erasing all trace of what's happened, but instead an imperfect process that leaves her slightly fractured, slightly weak, all of the things that a girl her age is supposed to be. The bruises that she sees all over her skin might be about the most beautiful thing she's seen and felt in a long time, her eyes wide with amazement at the human body, that imperfect state of being and how it adapts. It's almost hard to keep the lie in place, with the way her lips spread into a smile at the slightest provocation, how laughs catch in her throat now because her lung hasn't healed enough to be used at full force.
But she can't hide on her own forever. Can't use fatigue as an excuse when all the doctors can see that her eyes are practically dancing. It's time for visiting hours. This is what she's been dreading.
Because somehow, she doesn't think that most people will believe her if she tells them this is the happiest she's been in almost a year. And honestly, she's not even sure if she should.
She's probably driven the people at the clinic mad. Claire keeps on trying to pull off her bandages, keeps on running gentle hands over her injuries, relishing the way that the pain is different each time. This process is healing. Not reversing, not erasing all trace of what's happened, but instead an imperfect process that leaves her slightly fractured, slightly weak, all of the things that a girl her age is supposed to be. The bruises that she sees all over her skin might be about the most beautiful thing she's seen and felt in a long time, her eyes wide with amazement at the human body, that imperfect state of being and how it adapts. It's almost hard to keep the lie in place, with the way her lips spread into a smile at the slightest provocation, how laughs catch in her throat now because her lung hasn't healed enough to be used at full force.
But she can't hide on her own forever. Can't use fatigue as an excuse when all the doctors can see that her eyes are practically dancing. It's time for visiting hours. This is what she's been dreading.
Because somehow, she doesn't think that most people will believe her if she tells them this is the happiest she's been in almost a year. And honestly, she's not even sure if she should.
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"Alright, fine, but I brought you the tap shoes just in case what you want to do is tap dance while in traction," he said, setting the shoes down on a tray while he pulled a chair up next to the bed.
"But you also take art class, so I brought you this-"
Reaching in, Sam pulled out what appeared to be part of a belt, some string, and a few random crayons all tangled together.
"I wasn't sure how much you could use your hands, so I made this for you."
Wrapping the belt around his head, Sam adjusted the placement of the crayons so that one was on each side of his head, attached to the belt.
"Hands free coloring for all your masterpieces."
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"Oh my god, Sam, if I mess up my stitches, it's going to be your fault— you know that, right?" she shook her head, dizzy from the effort as she fell back against the bed again. "I seriously don't know where you got that brain of yours. But this is... I mean, pretty awesome. I might even take it to class to show the teacher, see if I can't get it added onto the list of standard art materials."
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"No way, if you do that I'm just going to sneak and then the doctors will all think you're hallucinating or something," Sam added. Although really, he had no plans to go anywhere just yet. He wouldn't stay for a long visit, not unless she asked, but he wasn't just going to visit her and run either.
"My last gift is probably the most useful," he said, reaching in the back and pulling out a strip of black cloth. "To tie around your eyes, so if you really don't want visitors you can put it on and pretend you're sleeping."
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Smiling, Claire held an arm out for the strip of black cloth, tugging it lightly over and reaching back to tie it around her head, lifting it just high enough that it went across her forehead rather than over her eyes. In a way, Sam had pinned down exactly what Claire wanted: space. But she knew as well that she had caused trouble for herself, in this respect. Dug a hole of her own that she could only pull out of through her own means.
"Can I just pretend to be a ninja instead?" she asked, lips curved in a smirk.
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"I'm pretty sure that it's just kung fu students that wear the cloth around their head while ninjas wear the full on mask. At least, that's what 80's movies and cartoons have taught me."
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"Then it's your failure," she determined with a nod of her head. "Failure to bring me something that can help me hide my identity. And, and, total failure in bringing me 80's movies as well. I'm a 90's baby, Sam, I don't usually go searching before my birthdate for good entertainment."
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Sam thought the fact that she wanted to hide her identity was telling, although maybe she was just being silly. He supposed that if she jumped off the roof of the Compound, maybe she was hoping to get some alone time. Or a lot of alone time.
"But yeah, I just wanted to drop that stuff by for you."
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Her grin pulled up at the corner.
"You're amazing, Sam. For all of this. All the doctors should learn beside manners from you."
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"It's no big deal, really. Just figured you could use some levity or something. I mean, you could have been sitting here dealing with some serious angst and been upset I made light of your situation. Then I would have regretted not bringing the bag with the emo hair-cut wig and the copy of Thus Spoke Zarathustra."
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Lifting her chin, Claire managed a small laugh, before shaking her head. "Meanwhile, my hair is carefully tended to. Back home, I used Herbal Essences. Here, I use whatever plant oils I can get my hands on. Less convenient, but probably better for my hair anyway." With a small sigh, she rested her head against her pillow again.
"But, you've got me pegged right, don't worry. I mean, yeah, sometimes I get mad when friends joke too much about a serious situation, but you weren't making fun of it or anything. Just distracting me, and laughing like this, it's good."
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"And they do say that laughter is the best medicine, although I'm not sure that was still true if you had stitches somewhere on the torso."
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"Well, I'm not going to jump off a building again anytime soon, so hopefully that becomes a nonissue," Claire offered a crooked smile. "And hey, it is totally possible to laugh inside my head, and not wheeze enough to pull my stitches. Which I did get, since... punctured lung, they had to cut in and make sure the bones were set properly again, it's kind of gross."
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"But look, I wasn't going to hang around too long unless you want me too. I figured you'd have a lot of people coming to check up on you today and you'll probably be sick and tired of it before the day is out."
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With a softer look, she glanced up again, wishing more than anything that she could give him a tight hug as thanks for having stopped by. "I do want to hang out with you," Claire said first, "and be dorks and learn about the difference between kung-fu artists and ninjas, but... I've been enough trouble for the doctors already. So I should probably get some sleep. But as soon as I'm discharged, we need to hang. You still haven't brought me fruit yet."
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That part was true at least, she'd thrown down the gauntlet at that and he intended to pick it up.
"But take care, okay? I want you to get well soon."
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Leaning back against her remaining pillow once more, she waved after him.
"But talk of pee aside, it really was great of you to visit, Sam," she sighed, expression largely content. "Thank you."
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"I'll come again in a few days, okay?" he told her, smiling at how pleased she currently looked. "Bring you some more things to keep you from getting bored."
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"I look forward to it. Provided you don't talk about bedpans again," she warned, allowing herself a brief laugh as she shook her head.
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"I'll come back and check on you later, okay?" he promised. He wouldn't stay very long any of the times, but he would make sure that she was doing okay.
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"You'd better keep that promise," she laughed softly, waving after him. "But okay. I'll be waiting."